Why We Hold Back on Expressing our Super Powers

When I was a child, teachers always told me that I wasn’t performing at my full potential. I held myself back because I’d been taught not to “show off” my natural gifts. Unfortunately, a lot of us learn this lesson from our parents, family members, and friends when we’re young. We stop short of expressing our full potential because we’re afraid of being rejected, ridiculed, or abandoned.

What’s worse, people often try to be someone they’re not just to fit in. Many women have been conditioned to play small, be polite, and let men take the lead. The fear of standing out can have life-long consequences, especially in their careers. Women are told that to succeed in “a man’s world,” they have to be assertive, competent and confident. And yet, when they stand up for their beliefs or share strong options, they’re labeled the “B” word.

It’s Time to Embrace Your Super Powers

If you’ve spent a lifetime working to create a persona that isn’t in line with your natural gifts, it can be a challenge to step into your power and assert yourself. But when you embrace your abilities, you accept who you are at your most authentic level. That is the first step to building your brand.

Here are a few easy ways you can begin to tap into your superpowers and share them with the world.

• Trust in your experience and knowledge. There’s this belief that we need to acquire more skills, get more education, or ask the experts before we take action. Trust that you know enough to get the job done. I’m not saying you shouldn’t build your skills but start with your existing knowledge base and expand from there.
• Don’t be afraid to ask for help. When you do need assistance, ask for it, especially if you’re in a leadership position. No one will think you’re any less competent. If what you’re working on is outside of your area of expertise, find someone who knows more and ask that person for insight.
• Rely on your resilience: Women are incredibly resilient. That’s because we traditionally get passed over more often for raises and promotions. Know that you have the inner strength to endure more, learn from your hardships, and push past adversity. If something terrible happens, put on your big girl pants, deal with it and move on.
• Embrace your vulnerability: There’s a time and place to share your feelings, but in general, we’re all far too closed off at work. Strength isn’t about shutting people out or acting tough to prove your authority. When you’re open and vulnerable with your team, you show them who you are and why they should follow you.

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10 Superpower Words

If you’re worried about how others will react to you once you embrace your superpowers, know that we all get push-back at one point or another. It might come from your boss, someone on your team, or even a family member. Work to understand why they’re responding the way they are. Always remember that there’s a big difference between push-back and bullying. Push-back is an attempt to gain clarity; bullying is an attempt to gain the upper hand.

Are you ready to be bold and create a super personal brand that’s grounded in your unique skills? Contact me today to discuss how I can help.

So many of us are going through our lives on cruise control. We go to the office, sit at our desks, and do the same tasks day in and day out for years on end without every pausing to ask the critical question: what am I meant to do with my life? The good news is that it’s never too late to discover your true purpose.

Trust Your Instinct

I recently stumbled upon a box filled with paperwork from my high school days. Inside, I found a card with the word “beautician” scribbled on it. I was totally astounded. I had no memory of ever writing that word down but there it was, staring me in the face.

Years after high school, I took a special interest test to determine what career would suit me. My results came back with five suggestions: insurance, sales & marketing, real estate, travel and – wouldn’t you know it – beautician! I had two kids to care for and knew I couldn’t commit to a four-year college. For that reason, I enrolled in a 10-month beauty program at Aveda Institute.

I then spent the next twenty years working in the industry. Towards the end of my beauty career, I toyed with the idea of opening a salon, but my heart wasn’t in it. I liked cutting hair and helping people with their image, but I didn’t want to manage a bunch of employees. Finally, someone introduced me to the term “image consultant,” and it was like a punch in the gut. I’d never heard that phrase before and certainly never thought I could make a living teaching people how to build a personal brand.

Put Yourself Into Action

Did I know my exact purpose in high school? No. But I always knew that I had a higher calling. It just took some time – and a lot of soul searching – to figure out what it was. If you’re struggling to identify your purpose, here are a few tips to try:

• Do some “research”: Take an 8 x11 sheet of paper and draw a line down the middle. Make a list of everything you’ve done from the time you started working in one column and everything you liked or didn’t like about each job in the other. Then circle the common denominators.
• Put yourself into action: Make time to do the things you love. Maybe it’s crocheting or brewing beer. Don’t worry about whether or not you can make money doing it. Above all, indulge in your passions and see which of them make you shine and feel the most alive.
• Keep quiet: Some people like to squash dreams. It’s okay to talk to the people who believe in you but hold back on sharing what you’re up to with the negative people in your life.
• Pay attention: When you make the conscious choice to explore your purpose, you become tuned into messages you may have never heard before. Turn off your mouth and turn on your ears.

The process of identifying your purpose doesn’t necessarily have to end in a new career brewing beer or knitting hats. It can, but only if you do those things to serve others. A hobby – while incredibly worthwhile – is about serving yourself. Your purpose is about serving the world.

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5 Questions to Identify Your Purpose

If you’ve been struggling to define your purpose but know that there’s more out there for you than the life you’ve been living, contact me today to discuss how I can help.

We all know that there’s more to life than the daily grind; most of us just aren’t sure how to break free of it. We don’t permit ourselves to invest in our success or to develop a personal brand that stands out. Conditioning begins at a very young age to fall in line and behave.

Take the Risk to Invest in Yourself

When we’re young, we have to ask our parents’ permission for a snack or to go out to play, or to have a friend over. Then we get to school and have to ask our teachers before we go to the bathroom. As an adult, your boss makes the decision on when it’s alright for you to take a day off, implement a new process, or take on a project you weren’t assigned to cover.

This conditioning can leave us feeling intimidated and fearful to do things without approval. Breaking free of this conditioning becomes far less scary when you understand your core passion. The things that you love to do part of your DNA. They’re an extension of who you are. When you can learn to love yourself and accept that you’re on this earth for a higher purpose, things will begin to shift and it won’t feel so risky to take the leap and try something new.

Give Yourself Permission to Do The Follow Six Things

If you’ve discovered your core passion and you’re ready to make a change, start by permitting yourself to:

• Stop being perfect. If you aren’t failing, you aren’t living, so take a risk with the knowledge that you might fail on the first try. Ask questions of people who know more than you. If someone asks you a question that you don’t know the answer to, be humble enough to admit that and say, “I’ll get back to you.”
• Stop feeling like you have to take care of everyone. Many of us were raised to believe that it is our responsibility to take care of everyone around us. Constant care-taking leads to burn-out, resentment, and a lot of wasted time! You may be able to avoid this burn-out by asking for help, learning to delegate and making sure your own needs are met before taking on the needs of others.
• Be the best version of yourself in every part of your life. Surround yourself with great people who want to see you succeed, speak positive words to yourself every day and fake it until you believe it!
• Let go and let flow. Let go of all the stuff that you think people are saying or thinking about you. Believe in yourself and know that you are exactly who and where you’re supposed to be.
• Dress the way you want. Ditch the all-black wardrobe, stop worrying about fitting in and wear whatever makes you feel good.
• Acknowledge what other people are doing right. This one pushes a lot of people out of their comfort zone. If you see someone succeeding, pay them a compliment. Don’t hesitate! What a great endorphin booster for everyone involved!

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5 Tips on Stepping Into Your Core Passions

If you’ve been plugging away at a career that no longer brings you joy, and you’re ready to give yourself permission to charge your personal brand with passion, contact me today to discuss how I can help.

Mindset is a hot topic these days. And for good reason! Every thought you think and every word that comes out of your mouth will dictate how you react to situations. If you’re saying, “I can’t” all the time, then guess what? You’re right. You can’t, and you won’t.

Why Do We Do This?

As children, we learn what to think and how to feel about ourselves from our family members, teachers, and friends. Our parents are supposed to encourage us to develop our talents and go after our dreams. However, too many of us grow up in households where we’re teased, ridiculed or unfairly criticized. Words used to communicate with you as a child are the words you’ll use to communicate with as an adult.

If you don’t have someone to turn to for support, adverse childhood experiences can leave an indelible mark on you as you age. Some can process these experiences and grow up to be happy, healthy and high functioning adults. For others, these traumas can negatively impact how we show up in our relationships in work and at home.

Yes, the past molds you for the future, but it doesn’t have to dictate who you are and where you’re going. Bringing childhood issues to the surface where you can deal with them openly makes it possible for you to step into your greatness and develop a personal brand that’s in line with who you truly are.

Changing Your Mindset

Shifting from a negative to a positive mindset doesn’t mean coming out guns-a-blazing, demanding that other people take you seriously. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. What matters is that you develop the confidence and self-respect that your family and friends never fostered in you as a child.

Beginning this process is as simple as standing up straight, looking at yourself in the mirror and repeating the phrase, “I can, I will, I am.” Each time you say these words, you rewire the pathways in your brain that are keeping you stuck in negative patterns of thinking and behavior.

Next, ask yourself how you’d like to be perceived by your friends and colleagues. If you can show up in a way that represents who you are on the inside, you’ll be able to deliver your message so that other people will genuinely hear you.

Check yourself before you leave the house every day. Don’t just look at your outfit, look at your attitude. Is your smile on straight? Remember, smiling releases endorphins and makes you happier. It’s also your invitation into any room you want to enter.

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Five Tools to Help Shift Your Mindset

If you’re interested in learning more about hose you can shift your mindset, enhance your personal brand and develop yourself a s successful leader, I’m hosting a one-day leadership event on Thursday, September 27th at the Hilton Garden Inn in Shoreview, MN. Sign up today!

If you hold an executive leadership role within your company, it’s your responsibility to foster a positive working environment. An environment that rewards hard work and loyalty without sacrificing employee well-being.

Show Your Employees That You Value Them

You expect your staff to work hard and deliver results, and they expect you to pay them what they’re worth. When you don’t, they feel undervalued and disrespected – particularly if the company is doing well – which is a recipe for low-employee satisfaction and high turnover. Pay your employees fairly for doing their jobs and reward exemplary work with bonuses.

Also, don’t forget to acknowledge company milestones. Your employees are your second family. They take a lot of time out of their life to help you grow your business, which is why it’s imperative that you acknowledge their work anniversaries and birthdays. While not everybody loves the attention that comes with a birthday cake in the conference room, most people will appreciate the recognition.

Encourage Your Employees to take Vacation and Personal Time

Companies provide vacation time because it’s necessary for employee well-being and productivity. Unfortunately, few workers ever take their allotted vacation time because they’re afraid to leave the office. They don’t trust that someone else will pick up the slack while they’re away and fear being blamed if the work doesn’t get done.

Developing strong executive leadership presence means setting positive examples for your staff. If you take your vacation time, they will feel safe to do the same. So, get out of the office and have some fun. Let go of the reigns and trust that work won’t come to a halt just because you take time away.

Encourage Your Employees to Take Breaks

You may think your staff is being productive by working through their lunch breaks, but the opposite is true. People need to step away from their desks, phones, and computers periodically throughout the day. Simply taking a walk around the block floods the brain with fresh oxygen and makes it much easier to focus during the rest of the workday.

You can also limit office hours. Force your employees to go home when they’re supposed to and don’t reward working late or coming in on the weekends.

Do Something Worthwhile for Your Company

Once or twice a year, host an event that brings everyone in the company together. Come up with a handful of charities that your employees are fond of and vote on which ones to support each year. By doing this, you’ll get people more involved in the process and more likely to take ownership of the event, ensuring its success.

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Five Ways You Can Set Examples for Your Employees

Remember, it’s far more difficult to find and train new people than it is to make your existing employees feel empowered, respected and valued. If you’d like help on developing your executive leadership skills so that you can make a long-lasting impact on your company, let’s talk.

One of the things that makes an employee valuable is their attitude at work. How does he or she show up every day? Is she happy, interested, enthusiastic? Is he engaged, curious, thoughtful?

Most of all, are they grateful?

People who feel grateful for their position at work are more likely to get promoted, be perceived as competent and successful, and generally feel more satisfied with their work.

All that said, if you’re not feeling grateful, how can you round the bend and fill yourself with the emotion of gratitude? Let’s take a look at that more in-depth.

Be Grateful You Have a Job

I recently read an article written by a man who had been working in the same position for 25+ years. Naturally, he felt very secure in his position – until one day, the rug was pulled out from under him and he was let go.

This man was dumbfounded. He didn’t understand that these days, it’s not enough to come in on time, maybe stay a little late a couple days a week, and get your work done.

That’s not enough anymore.

Today’s market is so competitive and fast-moving that companies are constantly asking themselves, “How does so-and-so bring value to the company? What can he or she do that no one else brings to the table?” Gone are the days when simply filling up a cubicle 40 hours a week was enough; you’ve got to stand out and go above and beyond every single day.

Yes, it’s intense – but if you’re lucky enough to hold one of these positions, you’re darn fortunate! Keep that in mind every day when you go to work, and you’ll exude gratitude.

Gratitude Creates Solutions

We’re all familiar with the person at work who generates more problems. Usually, that person thinks that he or she is helping, when actually, by the time they’re finished talking everyone at the meeting is dealing with three new problems that hadn’t existed before.

Being the solution is much easier when you’re in a space of gratitude! When you come from a place of gratitude, you’re more apt to think about good things, positive outcomes, and potential opportunity. Gratitude puts you in a positive mindset that can clearly make decisions quickly.

An indirect advantage of feeling gratitude is that when people are grateful, they draw more good, supportive people into their space (as opposed to being a Negative Nancy who draws in all the complainers and gossips).

When you have a strong team, you’ll find your solutions more quickly because they’re helping you move forward strategically!

Gratitude 365 Days a Year

We’re called to feel gratitude during the month of November, but it really should be a year-long practice. Each of us, truly, has so much to be grateful for that there’s never a shortage of blessings to count.

If you’d like help pinpointing some things to be grateful for, download my complimentary “Gratitude Fill-in-the-Blank” for a little fun gratitude work.

Let’s dive deeper into gratitude together and watch as truly incredible things start to happen for you at work. Click to set up a complimentary consultation with me.

]]> https://dstebbing.opalstacked.com/blog/exude-gratitude/feed 0 https://dstebbing.opalstacked.com/blog/3-ways-to-build-your-inner-confidence https://dstebbing.opalstacked.com/blog/3-ways-to-build-your-inner-confidence#respond Wed, 12 Feb 2014 00:00:00 +0000 http://dawnstebbing.com/uncategorized/3-ways-to-build-your-inner-confidence/ Read More]]> Top 3 Ways to Boost Your Inner Confidence and Take Care of Yourself

The most important step in building self-confidence in your wardrobe as a male CEO is simply to take action to improve your image.

“When you look good you feel good, when you feel good your self-esteem goes up, when your self-esteem goes up, your confidence increases, when your confidence increases your productivity enhances and that leads to great possibilities” -Dawn Stebbing, Style and Beauty Expert

Be as Confident Within as Your Outer Image Suggests

Here are three ways to build your inner confidence so it matches your well-styled outer image:

Make it a Great Day!

Get Inspired to Take Care of Your Professional Image

If you feel like there’s not enough time in the day to even sit down for a minute, then I’m sure you’re not spending much time on the most important person, you! Don’t feel selfish. You deserve “you” time. Indulge in those five extra minutes in the morning putting on nice smelling lotion to stimulate your senses or pulling an outfit together that makes you feel special. Or spend an hour at a spa getting a treatment done or an hour beautifying your closet.

Take a few hours with an image consultant and enjoy understanding what looks great on you including the knowledge of what colors flatter you most. You’ll build more and more confidence when you express the best version of you.

So why aren’t you spending time and money on yourself? One day you have to decide you’re worth it.

If you want to avoid making any scary decisions, I’m here to help! Don’t hesitate to make an appointment to discuss your pressing needs. I can make it all better. Perhaps my 30 Minute For $30 Image Makeover for women is a great start, or I can go shopping with you to choose a special outfit.

Set up your appointment at my office for an image consultation or how about via Skype? 651-307-0342

“It’s not what’s happening to you now or what has happened in your past that determines who you become. Rather, it’s your decisions about what to focus on, what things mean to you, and what you’re going to do about them that will determine your ultimate destiny.” Tony Robbins

Are you waiting for something to change before you work on updating your wardrobe? Are you waiting until you lose weight? Or maybe until you get a better job? Or maybe until the summer comes? As long as you can come up with one, you will always have a reason to just let things go until.

Regardless of where you are today and what happened to get you here, remember that you are worth it now! Let today be the day that you finally focus on you, letting your inner and outer beauty bloom.

What can you do now to feel better and look better?